The book Everyone Wins! that I posted about last week was about conflict resolution. The Love and Logic book is about teaching children how to think for themselves so that they can problem solve and make good decisions on their own. Sometimes letting a child fail teaches them more than if we were to forcing them to succeed. One of the examples in the book discusses letting a child miss the bus and being confined to their bedroom for the school day. Their parents inform them they need to explain to the teacher (and the school) why they missed class as the parent doesn’t write an “excuse” letter for them. Most children don’t miss the bus again.

What if you let one of your staff miss a deadline for a major project? Would you have the guts to let that person explain to the other employees why they missed the deadline or would you try to finish the project yourself so that the deadline could be met? If that staff had to take responsibility for failing to complete a project as promised and there were consequences (such as an CEO or deductions in pay/missed bonus opportunities) it is unlikely that they would miss a deadline again.

If these concepts were applied in the business environment it might be a little frustrating for the supervisors at first, but in the long run they would end up with better employees. Even though Love and Logic is not a business book, it is about creating positive and respectful relationships as well as teaching the “younger” (younger does not necessarily mean a young person) staff responsibility. Don’t we need these skills in business too?

This book is a MUST read. I am not saying this because I know the man who wrote it. It is full of great advice, stories and exercises. Yes, exercises. If you have any type of conflict in your life, business or personal, you need to get a copy of this book.

As Larry mentions at the very beginning of the book you need to read it with an open mind. If you are going to resolve any conflicts you are currently experiencing, you will need to be flexible and willing to change. Otherwise, you’ll continue to remain in conflict with the person you are trying to get along with.

Chapter 2 is titled “Give Up Your Need to be Right, Not Your Needs.” When I was a teenager, still in high school and soon to graduate I decided that I was going to stop fighting with my Step-dad, who I call Dad. We would argue about anything and everything. We both needed to be right. Not knowing how to resolve this conflict, I just decided to give up the need to be right. Whenever I noticed my Dad and I getting into a debate I would stop arguing. I didn’t tell him I thought he was right, but I didn’t tell him I thought he was wrong. Our relationship started to change. We didn’t fight anymore and our relationship is very positive now. I wanted to get along with my Dad, not fight with him. My need was about getting along, not about being right.

I have used a similar approach in other relationships and it works. As do the many other concepts in Larry’s book. Check it out for yourself, visit Larry Barkan’s website.

This got me thinking. How often do managers or business owners or coaches or parents admit they are wrong or made a mistake? What is the risk of admitting fault as compared to not doing so? While it most likely will depend on the situation and the people involved, it is generally a good rule to at least acknowledge the truth.

I have found that honesty is the best policy. When I first started teaching I was hesitant to admit I had made a mistake for fear that my students would think I didn’t know the material or question my fairness in grading. However, I found students are very forgiving when you admit you made a mistake, most of the time. They tend to trust and respect me more for admitting my error(s). I find this to be true with clients too.

I haven’t always been quick to admit fault. But it is so freeing to do so. In the workplace it improves your relationship with your staff. Consider two options. The first is to pretend like you didn’t make the mistake and place blame on someone else, probably your staff. When you do this you create conflict – conflict that could have been avoided. Now your staff doesn’t trust you, they don’t believe you know your stuff, and they are resentful that you blamed them. The second option is to admit your mistake. Your staff won’t resent you and they will probably develop a greater trust toward you. They know that we all make mistakes so it is unlikely they will start to doubt your abilities, unless you make BIG mistakes a lot.

Try it and see if it works. Maybe try it at home before taking the plunge at the office. You might just find your personal relationships start to improve too. Good luck.

To read more visit the ASCPA.

I visited a friend the other day. He is a brilliant marketing
strategist who consults with and teaches marketing to companies all
over the world. In just the last month, he has worked in the United
States as well as Egypt, Istanbul and Moscow. I had lunch with him
while he was enjoying a brief respite before going to Paris.

I asked him what he saw as the differences between consulting and
teaching in Europe and Asia versus in the United States.

He said that, in the United States, unlike either Europe or Asia,
he is frequently asked if a four-day seminar can be completed in
two-days. Or, an executive will say to him, “I’ve got an open slot
of half-day at our meeting. What can you do?” Or, he might hear, as
he did from one seminar participant just before the start of a
Monday through Thursday seminar, “I can’t be there on Tuesday and
Wednesday. Will I miss anything?” (To which my friend was tempted
to respond, “Oh no. I always plan for nothing important happening
on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.”)

As someone who has worked in training and development with mostly
United States companies for the last 25 years, I can echo my
friend’s experience. Seemingly, what can’t be done quickly, won’t
be done.

Naturally, we are nostalgic for a simpler, slower time. By
definition, one is nostalgic for what one no longer has.

I believe there is a relationship between our “just do it quickly”
culture and our current problems.

When speed is a high value, it is difficult if not impossible to
consider the long-term consequences of one’s actions (credit
default swaps anyone? How about subprime mortgages?).

When one doesn’t take adequate time to learn what’s important about
a topic (“can you do it in two-days instead of four?”), one can
believe that one knows all one needs to know and will act based on
this faulty assumption.

When one lacks patience to do what’s right, one will do what is
expedient (after all, bonuses depend on it).

In a culture that demands instant “Google” answers, we are
commanded by “ready, fire, aim.”

In the absence of deep, meaningful relationships (“Yes, but I’ve
got 5,000 Facebook friends whom I’ve never met”), we’ll settle for
a consumer rather than a citizen culture.

Just because we can do everything faster doesn’t mean we should do
everything faster. Perhaps it’s time to slow down and really inhale those roses.

Have a great day,
Larry

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GO TO http://www.larrybarkan.com

To manage cash flow the business owner might have let their insurance policy for short-term or long-term disability lapse. When an accident renders the entrepreneur unable to work for 3-6 months, who is available to run the business? For solo-preneurs, this could be a big issue. A lot of coaches, CPAs and general contractors might fall into this category. Do they have someone, a strategic partner, that can handle their client demands temporarily?

In tough economic times, a young business owner might not see the need for key-man life insurance or life insurance for his family. This week my husband and I were reminded how precious life is and how quickly things can change after hearing about the death of one of his friends. He was only 53 years old, fairly young by most standards. Life insurance is a vehicle that could help a family, such as this one, survive financially without the on-going revenue stream from the spouse.

While we all hate to think bad things can happen to us or to our loved ones, proper planning makes the worst of times easier for those left to pick-up the work load or forced to create a new life without the one they love.

We connected in a way I never expected; we both have had children with major medical issues. Unfortunately, his child is on multiple medications and may have to be for the rest of his life. We discussed the challenges of being a parent, of being a small business owner, and relationships too.

I find that when I share my story – the infertility, the premature birth of my daughters, marital struggles, etc. that other people can often relate, even if it is not exactly the same issue, and they open up in a way you would never expect. However, you have to be cautious. Since I have known this person for so long I was comfortable telling him some of my life struggles — and the conversation lead us down this path when he asked me about my book Tiny Toes… In the end, he could relate and sent me some information that I am going to be able to share with women and couples who are not in my professional network, but in my personal network.

I left the meeting with a totally different perspective than the one I walked into the restaurant with. While I knew that we would have a lot to talk about since it had been such a long time since we had seen each other, I was pleasantly surprised that our lunch wasn’t all business. When you have something in common with someone, whether it is a life story or your favorite vacation spot, it makes referring business to each other so much easier.

Recently I submitted an application for a Public Service Award. I’ve been volunteering for years and it is something I truly enjoy. I’ve even said that if I could volunteer for a living, I would (assuming I was independently wealthy). When the application arrived in my email box I debated about filling it out. I asked someone to help me and submit the application on my behalf. She did. And she told me that no one deserved the award more than I did. When I was considering completing the application a little voice popped up into my head, it said, “You can win this award.” What? In the past I had replayed the story that I had to work hard to achieve ______ (fill in the blank).

I recently told my business coach and everything was clicking easily with my business. I am more confident today than I was two years ago. I know that I am doing the work that I was meant to do. When I first started my business I was thinking small, now I am thinking big. When you change your mindset about one area of your life, such as a challenging relationship with a family member or co-worker, it is amazing how it carries over to every area.

So is your mindset holding you back? What are the little voices in your head telling you about _____ (fill in the blank). As 2010 approaches, establish your business goals and tell yourself you WILL achieve them. Not that you will try, but that you will.

Some of the benefits of the sole proprietorship are:
1. Easy to form. No legal paperwork involved. You decide to start your business and you start working.

2. Ownership controlled. Since you are the sole owner of the business you maintain all of the control.

3. The sole proprietorship is reported directly on your income tax return via the Schedule C; therefore, there is no separate filing requirement.

However, there are some significant detriments to the sole proprietorship:
1. Unlimited liability. This means if someone wants to sue you they can go after your business assets as well as your personal assets. Since there is no corporate structure, such as an LLC, S-Corp, etc. your personal assets are entirely exposed.

2. You have limited resources. Since you are the sole owner of the business you may not have the capacity to accept larger projects or your skills may be limited to a particular area.

Is it okay to operate for a few months as a sole proprietorship? I say NO. Setting up an LLC is very easy and fairly inexpensive. You can do it your self or hire a business that specializes in entity formations or attorney to do it for you. The cost really is not prohibitive, for example, if you do it yourself you can incorporate as an LLC for around $100. Most states recognize single member LLCs so you will establish some legal protection for you and your family.

If you are operating as a Sole Proprietorship, I recommend that you add an item to your to-do list; incorporate your business TODAY. You’ll be glad you did.

A few months into the new venture you notice that your friend is not doing the job they agreed to do. You notice you are having feelings of regret or doubt that you made the right decision to bring them on. First you decide to talk to them and remind them of their role. If everything goes well they will make the necessary changes. If things do not go well and they get mad, your relationship starts to deteriorate.

A friend of mine, Sally, started a business with a good associate, Beth. They created an LLC (Limited Liability Company) and signed a very generic partnership agreement. Sally became a little frustrated that Beth wasn’t pulling her weight in the business. Beth was busy looking for a job instead of working in the business they were building together. Beth accepted a job offer. Sally was glad because she could see that the partnership was not working out the way she had hoped.

Sally wanted to “buy” Beth out, but the partnership agreement they signed didn’t have any language to guide them on this type of transaction. Sally was stuck. It was likely she was going to have to pay Beth an amount larger than she thought Beth deserved. Sally and Beth had a conversation and they both agreed Sally would become the sole owner of the business. Weeks passed and Beth had not taken any steps to sign her portion of the business to Sally. Thankfully, Beth was going through a divorce and she did not want Sally to get stuck dealing with her soon-to-be ex-husband. Sally was able to create a simple document they both agreed was fair. Today Sally owns the business.

Sally’s dilemma could have been avoided if the original partnership agreement included language about buy-outs or terminations of interest. Creating a formal document to describe your partnership is a good business decision and it can save the relationship in long-term.